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Roy Rankin

 Tom retired in his early 50's  and started a second career.
 However, even though he loved his new job, he  just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was 5, 10, sometimes 15  minutes late.

 But he was a good worker and really sharp, so his  boss was  in a quandary  about how to deal with it. Finally, one day, his  boss called him  into the office  for a talk.

 'Tom, I must tell you, I truly like your work ethic; you do a bang-up job.   But your being late for work nearly every day is quite annoying to me as well  as to your fellow workers.'

 'Yes, sir,'  Tom replied, 'I know. I'm truly sorry, and I am working on it.'

 'That's  what I like to hear,' his boss said.  'However, the fact that you
 consistently  come to work late does puzzle me, because I understand that you  retired from the  Police Department, and they  have some pretty rigid rules  about tardiness. Isn't that  correct?'

 'Yes, sir, I did retire from the Police Department, and I'm mighty  proud of it,' said Tom.

 'Well, what did they say when you came in late?' asked his boss.

 'They said, 'Good morning, Chief'.

This sent from Thumper 8/28/2008
There is a fairly large amount of law enforcement officers who do not carry a handgun while off duty. This may be a fatal mistake.

You may someday need to apply one or more of these

The absolute First Rule of a Gunfight, in Mark Moritz' brilliantly enunciated aphorism, is 'Have a gun!' The rest will supplement that first rule....

        1.. Have a gun.
        1.. Preferably, have at least two guns.
         2.. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
         2.. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting
             twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
          1.. 'Why did you shoot only once? There's no
                additional paperwork for shooting
                someone twice!'
                -- Firearms Instructor  P.O.J.D.,  MOS
                   debriefing after a shooting.
          2.. Bring ammo.
            1.. The right ammo.
             2.. Lots of it.
             3.. Only hits count. The only thing worse
                 than a miss is a slow miss.
             4.. If your shooting stance is good, you're
                  probably not moving fast enough or using
                  cover correctly.
             5.. Proximity negates skill. Distance is your
                  friend.  (Lateral and diagonal movement
                are preferred.)
             6.. If you can choose what to bring to a
                  gunfight, bring a long gun... and a friend
                  with a long gun.
             7.. In ten years nobody will remember the
                 details of caliber, stance or tactics. They
                 will only remember who lived.
             8.. If you are not shooting, you should be
                  communicating,  reloading and running.
              9.. Accuracy is relative: most combat
                   shooting standards will be more
                   dependent on 'pucker factor' than the
                   inherent accuracy of the gun.
                   Use a gun that works every time. 'All
                   skill is in vain when an Angel pisses in
                   the flintlock of your musket.'
              10.. Someday someone may kill you with
                   your own gun, but they should have to
                   beat you to death with it because it is
                   empty.
              11.. Always cheat, always win. The only
                    unfair fight is the one you lose.
                   1.. 'If you find yourself in
                         a fair fight, you didn't plan
                         your mission properly.'

      This is the law:

         a.. The purpose of fighting is to win.
         b.. There is no possible victory in defense.
         c.. The sword is more important than the shield
              and skill is more important than either.
         d.. The final weapon is the brain.
         e.. All else is supplemental.
       - John Steinbeck (courtesy of Ken Campbell)
        12.. Have a plan.
             1.. Have a back-up plan, because the first
                  one won't work.
        13.. Use cover or concealment as much as
               possible.
          (Consequences of not enough of the above.)
        14.. Flank your adversary when possible.
               Protect your own flank.
        15.. Don't drop your guard.
        16.. Always perform a tactical reload and then
               threat scan 360 degrees.
        17.. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we
               trust. Everyone else, keep your hands
            where I can see them.)
        18.. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly
              enough.
        19.. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot
               you will get.
        20.. Be polite. Be professional. But... have a
              plan to kill everyone you meet.
        21.. Be courteous to everyone. Friendly to no
              one.
        22.. Your number one option for Personal
               Security is a lifelong commitment to
               avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
        23.. Do not attend a gun fight with a handgun
              whose caliber does not start with a '4.'
            1.. Nothing handheld is a reliable stopper.
        24.. Carry the same gun in the same place all the
               time.

     'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'
'Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'

 Winters In Skokie
Pretty much we're finished with winter. As I look out my window I'm seeing the crocus and iris starting to show color. It was a fairly easy winter this year. Only used the snow blower once or twice. No below zero days that I remember. As I recall, however, seems to me that when I was a patrolman working the street, winters were a lot rougher. Is it my imagination or do you also remember some of these things about winters in Skokie. Winter arrived a little after Thanksgiving and lasted through Easter. Generally you were in good shape if you didn't ever have to get out of the car. It would snow one day and there would usually be 4 to 6 inches of white fluffy stuff for an hour. Then the snow would turn grey, then brown and finally black. The stuff would freeze solid and it would last a minimum of 8 weeks. Over time storms, flurries and snow showers would add to the quanity and whenever you did get out of the car there would be a huge pile of it between you and your destination. After the prescribed period of time, we would get a thaw, melting most of the snow. Then a few days later the whole cycle would start all over again. Sometimes mother nature would do something called 'the lake effect' which would dump anywhere from 10 inches to 2 feet on us, just a little bonus. Cold weather also had a big impact on us. One year in the late 70s we had several days of what they called "the Alberta Clipper" with temperatures falling to about 20 below zero. I swear, and some of you may remember, that after about a week of this it finally warmed up to about 18 degrees above zero. People were actually in their driveways washing their cars. Youngsters were running around in their shirtsleeves and those that had them were driving their convertibles with the top down. And remember that on any given day there was the dreaded wind chill factor. What we lacked in the way of winter weather, Sol Kale made up for in the material, design and supply of our uniforms. As I recall those uniforms served two functions. They kept us very cold in winter, and very warm in the summer. Starting from the top down our class A winter uniform consisted of the following: Saucer hat, which truly acted like a flying saucer every time it was caught by a gust of wind. On wet days you were allowed to cover your hat with a clear plastic rain cover. The fur lined hat wasn't approved until about the mid 70s. You were allowed to wear earmuffs. Leather motorcycle jacket. A few years earlier the standard refer overcoat was replaced by the leathers. The jacket had a minimal tufted lining and it only came down to your waist. To make it really comfortable there was an open gore on each side. Those of us who had high rise holsters wrapped the gore around the gun butt. If you had a slung holster the gore only served as a kidney cooler. The parka was not part of the uniform until sometime in the late 70s. You were allowed to wear a plain black scarf and plain unlined leather gloves. You wore a grey long sleeve shirt with a blue wool johnny coat. Vests were not allowed until the 70s. 16 ounce wool pants. After 1 day in the snow the cuffs of your pants turned white from the leeching of the road salt which worked its way up your boots onto the woolen material. Long johns were optional. Problem with them was that if you spent any time in the car you grew unconfortable. Shoes were plain black leather. Rubber boots were allowed as long as they were plain and black. You didn't ever want a certain lieutenant to catch you wearing sneakers or gym shoes under those boots. At any rate mukluks or any other lined or protected footwear were not allowed until the 70s. With all due respect to the department uniform committee our uniforms were woefully lacking in confort and protection. Once you started your shift you were ok. Everything was fine if the weather remained stable. If, however, there was any sudden change such as a drop in temperature or precipitation in the form of sleet or snow all hell would occur throughout the district. Traffic accidents would occur by the tens sometimes tying up the whole shift. Of course you had to stand by in the cold/snow and direct traffic because in most cases one or both cars needed towing. A traffic accident occurring at 5pm or 8am would insure that you would remain wet, cold and miserable for the remainder of the tour. The traffic signals had an inherent defect. It seems that the slightest amount of dampness coupled with a sudden temperature drop would cause them to stick. The beat car was called to the scene and traffic would have to be directed especially during rushes. Some of us had a highly coveted traffic signal box key. The door could be opened the signals put on flash and the officer returned to the safety and warmth of the car. If you didn't have a key you were stuck out in the cold/snow until relieved or the electrician from Meade arrived. This brings me to two stories that I would like to relate about those signals. I obtained my key when I was called to a malfunctioning box. As was the practice you got out of the car went to the box and kicked it as hard as you could. Sometimes jarring the box would recycle the signals. When I got to the box, there it was, someone had forgotten his key which had been left in the lock. Truely it was like finding money on the street. No longer would I have to depend on the kindness of other officers to respond with their key to help me out. At any rate the people at Meade electric got mad that we were putting the lights on flash. It seems that if the lights were left alone in there malfunctioning state it would be easier for the electrician to diagnose the problem. So in their wisdom the brass thought it better to waste a perfectly good 7 dollar an hour officer out in the wet and cold than have to have a 22 dollar an hour electrician diagnose a circuit. Orders came down. We were no longer allowed to put the lights on flash. Not long thereafter I was called to Touhy and Carpenter for malfunctioning signals. Of course me figuring that I was way more important than any electrician, immediately put the signals on flash. Unfortunately for me a certain lieutenant who was on his way home to dinner saw me do it. "Now Brucie you know we're not supposed to do that. See me in my office when you are through here. Oh yea give me 'the key'." Disciplinary action would follow. In the mid 60s a young recruit joined our ranks. He was here only for a short time, so a lot of you probably don't remember him. If not, you can ask old Satiro, he can tell you a story or two. It seems that this young recruit had a special relationship with his mom. She would drop him off at work at 3pm and be there promptly at 11pm to take him home. She packed him a lunch every day and on special occasions would meet him at the station on his lunch hour where they would share an egg salad sandwich. As winter approached she would send him off to work with a thermos of hot cocoa to fight off the cold. Everything was going along well for the two of them until one December rush hour when a viscious sleet storm struck town. As was the usual case in about 10 minutes time there were 5 or 6 car crashes, the power failed on the east end, alarms went off in the factories and of course the signal lights froze up in a few locations. Our young friend was sent to Dempster and Gross pt. where the lights were stuck on red. He was there for about 20 minutes when he called the dispatcher requesting relief. He was told to stand his assignment everybody was busy. About 20 minutes later he called radio again, complaining that the assignment was creeping into his lunch time. Again he was told to standby. About 15 minutes later he called to have a sargeant meet him. Of course our friend was upset. He missed lunch, was being ignored by the dispatcher, was cold and wet, and worst of all couldn't get to his car to have a cup of hot cocoa! Soon after he was relieved he appeared at the station where he began whining about his maltreatment. Sgt. Satiro is a veteran GI and an ex firefighter. He was intimate with deprivation and knew first hand the rigors of being cold, wet, hungry and tired. He didn't have much sympathy for the recruit so he just told him to put on some dry clothes and get back to work. As far as Satiro was concerned, although some of his officers would be miserable, on this particular night none would be harmed or injured as a result of the elements. Life went on, in June nobody would even remember this night. So, he thought until shortly after returning the recruit to the street his mother showed up at the counter. "How could you disregard the health and safety of her son. Why wasn't he relieved?" Satiro took an earfull, but acted like a gentleman. But I'd give a day's pay to see the look on his face. Shortly thereafter the young recruit and his mom were dismissed from the department. What part of 'probationary' didn't they understand? School/church crossings were trouble for me because I used to forget about them. I didn't mind having to handle them, 20 minutes spent on a crossing were twenty reasons that you couldn't write a ticket. One particular crossing had the officer tied-up for about 20 minutes at a time about 4 times from 3:30 pm to 7:30 pm every day. It was for a religous school. The congregation leader thought that if he had a police officer standing in front of the school it would induce more parents to send their kids there. So orders came down, no more sitting in the car on this crossing, getting out only when kids showed up. This one you stood the elements for 20 minutes at a time whether there were kids present or not. On one particular bitter, windy day after arriving at the crossing I lingered in the car just a little too long. A certain lieutenant who was monitoring my activities immediately pulled up. Now Brucie you know the orders for this crossing. See me in my office. Disciplinary action would ensue. The Old Orchard detail made a lot of Christmases a whole lot better for a lot of us. It meant getting the kid a ten speed instead of a five. The wife maybe got a piece of jewelry instead of a mix-master. Oh but it could get pretty cold out there especially in the dreaded wind tunnel. Now some lieutenants were a pleasure to work for. They would even come by and let you warm-up in their car. However, there was this certain lieutenant whose orders were that you will stand your post. No going inside the stores, no sitting in cars. Of course on this one particular day this lieutenant assigned me to the tunnel. It was cold and snowing, and there were no shoppers or cars to be seen anywhere in the area. I ducked into the drugstore which was less than 25 feet from the post. Now Brucie you know what my orders were. See me in my office after the detail. When this lieutenant would sign up for the detail, no officers would work it. Everyone figured you could get into more trouble with him than what the detail was worth. It got so bad that they would trick us by switching lieutenants at the last minute. Anyway, disciplanary action did follow. Working the swift was another good detail. Many a garage was built and a lot of kitchens got remodeled as a result of that detail. The old timers used to hog all the fair weather months leaving the winter months for us new guys. When the weather turned bad the refuse department used to put out a 55 gallon garbage can in front of the swift. There was always garbage in it and if you were assigned that day you would pick up a few scraps of wood. When you started to get cold you threw a flare in the can and presto there was heat to warm frozen fingers and toes. Some citizen got mad, didn't like having to wait at the stop sign while a couple of lazy cops stood around a fire. Orders came down from Broadway Joe ( who was a gentleman and had some sympathy for us.) "Fellas he said, lets say you would accidentally throw a used flare into the can and the trash accidently caught fire, that's ok. But, no more throwing boxes and railroad ties onto the fire, Ok guys." That seemed fair enough until this one below zero evening when the fire started to dwindle. I picked up a two by four scrap that was nearby and pitched it in. Within seconds a certain lieutenant pulled onto the scene. Just barely opening his window an inch, so he wouldn't get too cold, the heater on that #20 Pontiac going full blast, uttered the following. Now Brucie you know what the captain said. See me in my office tomorrow. Disciplanary action was imminent. So, maybe now you can understand why my winters were so rough. I know that they were hard on some of you also, otherwise so many of you wouldn't be retired to the Gulf or Pheonix. You guys were so traumatized by the winters that today your willing to put up with 108 degree summers rather than face another winter in Skokie. Yea, yea I know, its a dry heat! Hello to all my friends (regardless of where you live.) Enjoy your retirement you've earned it.
Bud Rappe

"He'll just tell you what we already know..."

Tuesday afternoons used to be open house at the Second District ASA's office. If we refused to take a complaint, the "victim" could take a copy of our report up there and try to convince the ASA that an arrest should be made. I don't know if the ASA's ever said yes or not. That piece of background info is important to the next story. It involves another drunken domestic, this time with a falling-down drunk husband who locked his wfe out of the house. That alone would not normally be enough to grab our attention, but when she tried to get back in the house, he called SPD and reported a burglary in progress. Talk about attention. Every available SPD beat car plus three detectives. As we sorted things out, the extra units started to drift away, leaving two beat cars and a detective. Unhappy with our refusal to arrest his wife, the drunk jumped up from his chair to lunge after her. He succeeded only in bouncing off the barrel chest of the then-young detective (now a Commander). A forgivable error on the husband's part, at least until he accused the detective of pushing him down. With all attempts at mediation exhausted, and a battery to a PO having occurred, the husband was placed under arrest and transported to SPD. At some point the husband decided that he had been mistreated, objecting to being referred to the Tuesday ASA complaint session for any complaints against his wife and taking exception to the language used by the arresting Officers (somehow or another he concluded that someone had called him an A@#hole). Now of course this accusation of name-calling was untrue, as during the reign of St. Bill the Hypocrite profanity was unacceptable under any circumstance ( except maybe one, as we'll see later...). Still, the husband persisted he'd been maligned, and insisted on an immediate audience with the Watch Commander. The arresting Officer quickly agreed. The young detective blanched. During a quick hallway conference the detective saw the advantage of the plan, and the Watch Commander was summoned. The Watch Commander (at the time a sergeant, later rising to the rank of Captain) was known not only for his frugality but also for his infinite patience for BS. He listened as the husband outlined his complaints, then tried to explain the law to the drunk. Still the drunk persisted. Finally, his limited patience exhausted, the Watch Commander rose from his chair, pointed his finger at the husband and bellowed "That's it. If you wanna complain, take it to the State's Attorney on Tuesday. He'll just tell you what we already know-THAT YOU'RE AN A@#HOLE!" The ensuing IIR was unfounded.

 

Mike Healy

'THUMPER' AND 'THE TUNA'

Now this story would be funny by itself, but truth at

least in Skokie is even funnier and more pathetic than

fiction.  It seems that several years later one

midnite shift a car was being erratically driven up

Main St.  A good friend of ours, and a tough street

cop by the name of 'Thumper' stops the car.  When he

sought to ticket the driver, it turns out to be none

other that the Tuna.  "Its late, I'm speeding, what

are you going to do."   Thumper ain't stupid, he's not

all polished like some cops but he's the guy I want

patroling my street when I tuck the wife and kids in

for the night.  Thumper probably would have smoothed

things over with the Tuna but the first thing the Tuna

does is flash his commisioner's  button and order

Thumper to let him go.  Wrong answer Tuna.  Thumper

and about 99% of all the other cops would of done the

same thing.  Thumper wrote him.  Tuna drives to the

station orders the watch commander to void the ticket.

  The watch commander orders Thumper to void the

ticket.  Thumper refuses, is suspended, brought up on

charges and is ordered to trial before the commission.

  Thumper near as hell looses his job for the very same

thing that the Tuna admonished him and about 40 other

cops to do during their interview.  About that time

morale in the department went through the crapper.  We

kind of owed it all to those other commissioners,

polititions and administrators who didn't have the

calzones to stand up to this blimp.  How could they

let this fat slob hi-jack not only their integrety but

the political process that maintained esprit de corps

and chain of command?  How could the village

administrators not back their cop.  They knew what the

Tuna's MO was, he'd been bullying police officers for

years. It would have taken just one of them to stand

up to this sack of crap.  Skokie, punch a card,

'Numerous thefts of spinal columns.'

WHAT A BUNCH OF MOPES

So we passed all the tests.  We were about to become

police officers.  We were going to go to The Chicago

Police Accedemy for our training. We were going to be

the best trained and the best paid cops not only in

the state but the entire country.  I came on with a

group of about 15 or 20 other cops.   We all appeared en masse  at the hall one Monday night.  The trustees and the mayor eyed us nervously and probably thought, "What kind of major mistake did we make?"  As the

picture records for posterity- what a bunch of mopes

we were, but---  It was good to be young.  It was good

to have a job.  It would remain to be seen whether or

not it was good to be a cop.

 MOPERY AS A GROWTH INDUSTRY

We took the oath, started our careers, and then went

to 'The Coach and Four' to celebrate.  The Greeks who

ran the place looked at all of us piling into the

place and decided right then that they would need to

expand.  Shortly thereafter the place closed down,

remodled and reopened as 'The Desiree'.

     ITS A GREAT JOB UNTIL SOMETHING GOES WRONG

Hello to all and best wishes to everybody.  To those

retired I hope you are enjoying yourselves, you've

earned it.  To those of you still on the job, pay

attention to what you are doing, listen to your sarge

and be careful.  The hardest test you will have is

reaching retirement.

Your friend Bud Rappe

And this from Thaddeus..

We were working midnights and every morning about 0200 we would get a call from Mrs. Babb.  (Babb Ave. named after, at that time, her deceased husband).  The calls would be purple people coming in on the telephone wires, people playing cards in her attic, aliens from space x-raying her house etc.  So one night we go there and I tell her I would take care of her problems.  I go out the front door and to the squad.  In about two minutes I go back in and ask were the door to the basement is and she points it out.  I tell her I have an invisible gorilla (I think the name was Rufus) and that he would handle any problem and she wouldn’t have to worry or do anything.  Things are going fine; we don’t have a call for about two weeks.  One day I have court at 0900 I come down about 1015 and am going to the locker room to change and go home.  (Had worked all night and was tired).  As I walk by Halas’ office he hollers at me, “Hey what did you tell Mrs. Babb”?  I had literally forgotten about the gorilla, and we hadn’t been there for about two weeks so I said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I haven’t been there in a couple of weeks”.  He says “I know what did you tell her then, did you tell her something about a gorilla”?   I said, “O yeah, and it worked, we haven’t been back in a couple of week”.  He then says, “Well, she called and she’s tired of going down to give it water and she wants someone to come and pick it up”.  He made me go right then to her house and act like I was removing the gorilla.  The calls started again!!!

"The Anatomy (female) Of An Auto Accident
 Or Why I Watch The Evening News."
Think back to working midnights. There was that time of the shift when the people ending their day and those who were about to start the new day were all home in bed. Nobody on the street but you and four or five other knuckleheads just like you who were on duty. If you did see something move you knew it was either some bad guy or some raving lunatic. It was just such a morning when I pulled out of one of the factory lots onto Touhy Ave. Right before my eyes was a huge ball of flame. Pulling up to the scene I find an auto resting in the bushes of one of the factories that lined the south side of the street. Instantly, I thought a stolen car had been dumped and the thief had set it on fire to cover his tracks. Then I hear this blood curdling scream emanating from the adjacent bushes and there I behold my first, last and only naked lady call. Karen was a beautiful 21 year old. She was the kind of girl men wanted around them, and other women hated. You knew by looking at her that she had always gotten everything she ever wanted, she was queen of the prom, she always had a date on Saturday night and nobody ever said no to her. She was about to graduate college and enter the world of journalism. You also knew she would probably make good because she had poise, personality and talent in the form of a set of perfect knockers courtesy of Dow Chemical. She was engaged to be married and when she stood next to her fiance they appeared to be Ken and Barbie for all intents and purposes. Yes, she had it all, she even had a dirty little secret. Karen was a very naughty girl. So what's this girl doing in the middle of the street, naked next to a wrecked car? Karen was in a state of shock, screaming at the top of her lungs "oh my God, what have I done? Oh my God!" At this point I assumed that there was another person in the car and I immediately ran toward the conflagration intending to be a hero. Forget it, no way was I going to save anything other than my big ass. Retreating back to the squad, I realized that my sole purpose this day was to render aid and comfort to this poor helpless naked lady. I put her in the back seat. All I had to offer her to protect her modesty was a dirty car wash towel and my field reporting manual. It was at this point that I discovered that she had been burned. Her entire backside from her buttocks to her ankles was red and blistered. All we could do was watch the car burn and wait for SFD. Next about 7 or 8 firemen were arguing and drawing straws to see who would get to rub salve on this poor girls burnt parts. At the scene we all thought she had had her clothing burned off of her. It was only after the real police from Lincolnwood arrived and found that her clothes were in a pile on the floorboards of her car, wrapped around the brake pedal, that we realized something was amiss. Sgt. Fisher was a real gentleman and an astute supervisor. He recognized the significance of how a naked lady call affects the career of a young patrolman. "Brucie, he says I want you to handle this call, and I know you'll do a good job." When I got to the hospital about a half hour later, I could overhear the nurses talking to Karen in the cubicle. They were commenting on her boobs, what a good job that Dr. so and so did and how much did they cost, which hospital did she go to etc. etc. When I finally got in to see her it was like I was her savior. She wept and hugged me and she kept on saying what a sick person she was. When I asked her what happened the whole story just poured out. Karen, it seems since the time that she got her learner's permit would from time to time sneak out of the house, borrow daddy's car and cruise the streets of Chicago looking for a thrill. Over the years one thing led to another and it appeared that the only way she was able to obtain a modicum of excitement was to drive around town at high rates of speed in the nude. On this particular morning while studying for finals she became bored and decided to go for a little jaunt. Somewhere around Clark and Devon she caught the attention of a couple of men in a truck at which point the fun began. As she led the men up and down the various streets, she reached a very high state of tension and somewhere in the 3500 block of Touhy things got out of hand, so to speak. Traveling west bound at a high rate of speed with an 18 wheeler in hot pursuit, at the exact same time she lost control of the muscles in her lower pelvic regions she also lost control of her fiance's late model Olds. When she came to her senses she found herself on top of some junipers that lined the foundation of one of the factories on the south side of Touhy. Realizing her predicament she tried to back out of the bushes but unbeknown st to her the wheels of the car were up in the air. She raced the engine for several minutes until the transmission started to overheat. When smoke filled the interior of the car she opened the door and the oxygen rushing into the car created a back draft effect causing the interior of the car to burst in flames. Apparently when she attempted to flee the car she was unable to as her blue jean shorts which at this point were around her ankles had entangled with the brake pedal. She fell from the car head first exposing her buttocks, private parts and legs to the licking flames. She told me that she didn't remember how she escaped but she would never forget the searing pain of the burns. She said she needed help and that she could not keep going on like this because her escapades were getting more and more bizarre. As we waited for her fiance and the Lincolnwood police to arrive she told me her life story. She aspired to be a TV anchorwoman. Her father had spent tens of thousands of dollars on orthodontists, speech coaches and even breast implants. She had several leads on radio and TV reporting jobs and she already had an agent lined up to flood the industry with her name and photos. When the Lincolnwood officer arrived we compared notes and just about everything she had told me had been borne out by his investigation. When we went back into the cubicle he asked her if she had been hurt at which time she removed the white sheet that covered her displaying her burnt backside plus a few other goodies that were not quite as burnt. By this time the Ken portion of her life arrived and protectively took charge. When the officer gave her a ticket Ken protested loudly "on what grounds?" The officer could have created a real scene had he gone into details but being a gentleman he told Ken she was driving negligently by having her pedals blocked. After taking a bond card Lincolnwood left and a short time later Karen was checked out of the hospital. In the waiting room after her release Ken and Barbie had a terrible fight, Ken accusing Barbie of being a whore and all whatnot. The nurses told them to take it outside where you could hear them carrying on in their car for several minutes. When things calmed down I went back inside to finish my report and recap events with the nurses. When I returned to the parking lot 15 minutes later the windows of their car were all steamed up and they were in the process of some type of lovemaking. All I could tell you is that Karen was quite a woman. In the span of about two hours she wrecked a car, almost burned down a factory, nearly killed herself, received some painful burns, racked up some serious hospital bills, was charged with a misdemeanor, lost a good portion of her wardrobe and was now doing the Chevy shuffle out in the parking lot of the hospital, all before sun-up. You could just imagine what the rest of her day would be like. When she appeared in court the Lincolnwood officer related that she pled guilty, lest the true story come to light. He also told me that she sent her regards to me and wanted me to know that "I would always be her hero." For quite a number of years whenever I travel to a strange city I find myself tuning into the ten o'clock news. I'd like to think that its my natural interest in current events but maybe its something more psychological. Once, I think it was in Columbus, Ohio there was a newswoman by the name of Karen. I thought it could've been her but I wasn't sure, she had her clothes on. Greetings to all and best holiday wishes, your friend Bud Rappe

"...oops, Pardon Me!"

I was working beat 7 and had a couple of cups of coffee and it was time to get rid of the stored up liquid. Sis Weber was working dispatch when I called out of the car on a personal at Dempster and McCornick.

I had just entered the rest room at the Standard station and was enjoying the relief of a good pee when I heard my portable squack "307" I didn't answer. Again, this time Sis was a little louder, "307!"

As I was finishing my watering, I keyed the mike so she could hear the splashing, then flushed the toilet and said "307, go ahead"

All I heard was Sis saying " Opps, pardon me, I'm sorry.'

I did the customary shake and zip and went back to the car and cleared.

Sis didn't acknowledge me.

Ron Baran                                                     

"Sex At The East Door"
Officer Gillono called me over to the east door of Fields to back her with a suspicious man she observed loitering in the area. It was quite an experience to witness the following: Janice observed the man darting about. He was wearing a suit with a tan trench coat that was open. On his head he wore a sequined yalmaka. The man's pants were undone and his fly was open. When she questioned him he spoke with a heavy Yiddish accent. "Excuse me sir, what are you doing?" "Ohym waitink for mine fadder to pick me up." "Sir your pants are open, you can't walk around here like that there are women and children present." "Ohym zo zowrie, but I godt kloutz." Sir, I don't care who you know your going to have to button your pants." "Yes mam ohym zowrie." By this time she realized that the man may have been slightly "special" in that he probably rode the short bus to school in his formative years. She cautioned and released him, hoping that the man's parents would soon collect him. About 10 minutes later she again observed the man walking aimlessly about, again with his pants undone. Janice being impressed with neither the subject's manhood nor his political connections, sought to arrest him for disorderly conduct. At the station through his tears all the man could say was: "Ohym zo zowrie but mine doktur toldt me I koudt die from bloodt kloutz if I wearn mine pauntz too tight."
On a different occasion, we received a call of a man driving near the bus stops in Old Orchard naked. Janice observed the car stuck in traffic at the east door of Fields. She called for back-up then left her squad that was facing the wrong way in one of the adjacent aisles. Approaching the suspect from behind and in his blind spot she reached through his driver's side window placing her hand on his shoulder and announcing that he was under arrest. Promptly, the suspect lost control of his sphincter and defecated in his pants. This act in itself would have been most unpleasant for any officer handling the case, except this guy wasn't wearing any pants. When I got there, she politely announced, "here's the pervert whose been riding around your beat exposing himself, he's all yours!"
Greetings to all, your friend Bud Rappe

 "In Your Travels ...."
Since retiring we have been fortunate enough to be able to travel somewhat. Being that we now have the free time we are able to pick up and go at the drop of a hat. Most trips taken have been to Europe in that we have found travel there is usually much cheaper than here and we have just about run out of interesting places to go in the US. However, wherever we go we find that you can't leave Skokie too far behind. Often the slightest incident will trigger long lost memories.. An old saying that the radio operators used to have was "in your travels check on this or be on the lookout for that." If I may I would beg your reader's indulgence and share some of my travel experiences with them. In Europe train travel is cheap, fast and convenient. Generally Trains travel between cities at @120 MPH. We've been on trains that have gone as fast as 180 MPH. Somewhere near Namur, Belgium the train we were on came to a screaching halt. We were delayed about 90 minutes. The best info we had was that the train had hit something. As we sat waiting I recalled an incident that had long ago been filed away. On a bitter January night in the mid 60's about 9:30 or so I had stopped out on Lehigh Rd. as I would sometimes do to watch as the Hiawatha made its final approach to Chicago from Seattle. The Milwaukee Line between Rondout, Il. and Irving Pk. Rd. is as straight as an arrow. Train drivers often used this stretch to gain back time lost during the course of their journey. Many times officers would time the various trains with radar. It was not unusual back then for them to reach speeds upwards of 90 mph. The gates at Howard went down and after several minutes when the train failed to approach I went out on Lehigh to investigate.
In the 7800 block where it sat, the engineer and conductor were out of the cab standing in ankle deep snow. They shouted to me that they had hit a car a couple of crossings back. We called Morton Grove and all 2 of their officers decked out in their best white socks checked their crossings but could not find anything. By this time the poor train driver was inconsolable. The man was actually sweating in below zero weather. In tears, he told me that he was going about 60 (Iknew better) and that the car drove around the gates in front of him. He said he could even see the people inside and swore it was a family. We relayed this data to M.G. but they were adament, nothing was found. I thought maybe this guy fell asleep and dreamt this or perhaps he was smoking dope, but then the train crew showed me the damage on the front of the engine and I could see for myself, this was bad. So there in the cold snow and moonlight police and firemen;train crew and passengers along with workers from the adjacent factories and passing motorists started to search for the gruesome remains of train vs. the car. The pieces that were left were no bigger than an open newspaper and had been strewn between Lincoln ave and Oakton St. Several suspicious stains were seen in the snow but no body parts were found. After about an hour of searching during which I was sure I suffered frostbite radio informed us to call off the search. When I got to the station I was told that it seems that one of Morton Grove's regulars after hoisting a few at Dilgs roadhouse came out, got into his car and drove it onto the tracks where it immediately stalled. After several attempts at restarting he gave up and went back into the tavern to warm up whereupon the evening Hiawatha wrote the rest of this story. I'm sure that the engineer probably left a world class load in his pants. Passengers were delayed and missed connections, but that's part of the excitement of travel. We never found out what delayed our train, we really didn't want to know..been and done. I thank you for your indulgence in airing this matter if you should still remain interested perhaps in the future I could relate some other amusing stories.
Bud Rappe                                              

 "No, You Bring The Beer This Time !"
In reading the story, by Dick Oldenburg, of Herman Carter's trip to the morgue, I couldn't help but recall an incident I had with dear old Herman Troy.

     It was one fine spring day on the day shift when I came in to the station, after lunch, to gas up the squad and turn in all the paper work I had generated that far.  I came out onto the old ramp and was about to get back into the car and leave when Herman came over and got into the front seat and told me he needed to get out of the building and get some fresh air.  I told him that a walk around the block would do him more good then going with me and that he was not my immediate supervisor anyway.  He insisted so what could I do?  We drove out and I began looking for some way to get rid of him, who enjoys a supervisor riding with him anyway?

     I drove down to Touhy and Lavergne and stopped the car, facing northbound.  A few minutes later a semi comes lumbering over the Edens bridge headed westbound.  I don't remember the drivers name anymore, but it was headed to the beer distributor at Lincoln and Klehm.  The lightbulb in my head virtually exploded into the on position and I pulled out behind him and followed till he turned north on Niles Center Road, where I made the stop.  I quickly got out of the car and told Herman to call us off with the stop.  I hurried to the cab of the rig and told the driver, who was upset because he was not fully loaded anyway, at being stopped.  I apologized and told him no tickets would be issued and that I just wanted to have some fun with the guy that was with me.  He agreed to go along with the gag.

     We walked to the back of the trailer and I told him to open the tailgate.  He obliged and once open, as Herman walked up to us, I said:  “it looks like you are about ten cases of beer overloaded.”  He responded with:  “oh for god sake, I know where your car is parked, just go and leave the door unlocked and it will be loaded before you get off duty.”  Herman appeared to clutch his chest and ran back to the squad car and dove in through the passenger door.  I walked back to the cab with the driver and made sure H.T.C. saw me shake the drivers hand.  I returned to the squad car and got in.  Herman screamed:  “take me back to the station, right now.”  I said:  “You just came out?”  He said:  “I said right now and that's an order.”  I returned him to the ramp and he didn't even wait till I came to a full stop when he jumped out and ran into the building.  I started to leave when I saw Capt. Joe Varallo pull up.  I approached him and told him what I had done.  We both laughed and he said he would have a little fun with him later.

     This was in the days when we had to fill out an activity sheet and turn it in every day.  The shift ended and I came in to turn in my reports and time sheet, in the old squad room that could be accessed through the old garage when it was attached to the main police station.  Herman Troy was collecting paper work and I turned mine in.  He didn't even look up at me.  I stepped into the hallway and into the locker room to change.  As I was leaving the building to go home, Capt. Varallo was coming down the hall toward the door.  As he reached the squad room door, I was going out the back door to the ramp.  I heard Joe kick the squad room door open and ask Herman, in a loud voice:  “Hey Herman, is any of that beer you guys got today, cold enough to drink yet?”  HERMAN'S HEART STOPPED AND HE NEARLY FELL OVER IN A HEAP.  I ran to my car, but he caught me and I won't repeat the exact words he used, but he said something about us being indicted and sent to jail for an ungodly amount of years.  I told him that he should have told Joe that the party would be tomorrow night at his house and we would bring a couple of cases.  He broke his pen in half and growled something as he walked away.
Stan Schultz                                          

"The Job Is Never Finished Until The Paperwork Is Done"

It was November of 1976 and Mike Langer, Jim Dahlman and myself all shared offices in Planning in the basement of the old building. Mike had been out of town and Jim and I didn't have very much to do (that was obvious) so since Mike was coming back the next day, we decided to fill his office with crumpled newspaper.

 We drove to a recycling center to get the large amount of paper we needed and started crumpling and filling. It took hours to do and during the day everyone in the building at one point or another came and helped. When we were finally finished we closed the door (filling that space with paper also) to wait for his return

fournierdahlman.jpg

 

 During the night a thought struck me that if one little

spark got into the room the whole station would go up in flames.

 On his return the next day Mike did not enjoy the humor that we had found in the project,  and after pushing out enough paper so he could get into the office, proceeded to try and ignore the situation. Pretty soon the paper from the office filled the basement to knee height.

 It sure took a lot more bags of trash to get rid of the paper than it did when we got it at the recycling center....

 But it was worth it !!....

Al Fournier

 

Brucie and The Queen

 

It started with the Portuguese.  They mastered a

system of navigation that allowed them to sail the

globe without getting lost.  It was a top secret

discovery that afforded the country prosperity and

wealth until such time as one of their ships wrecked

on the Dutch coast.  The Dutch being an enterprising

group immediately put the washed-up sailors to torture

until the secret became Dutch.  Now the Dutch became

masters of the seas colonizing anything or anyone that

crossed their paths.

In keeping with this spirit on a cold, snowy evening

in February of 1966 The Dutch once again struck,

attempting to colonize a small portion of Skokie.

Shortly after roll call a small contingent of the 3-11

shift were informed that a motorcade carrying

dignitaries would need to be escorted to Marshall

Field's.  George Heeres was put in charge and a couple

of us were given intersections to block.  As the sky

darkened, the snowfall became heavier and in the midst

of the evening rush hour The Chicago Police delivered

their charge to Touhy and Edens where George took

over.  The event ran smoothly and before long the

motorcade consisting of a stretch limo arrived in Old

Orchard.  As the passengers alit only a few passersby,

a couple of policeman and some Field's employees were

present to pay any attention to the Lovely young lady

emerging from the car.

Beatrix, Princess of Holland was blond, buxom, well

dressed and coifed.  She was part of a trade mission

that in some way was tied into A Fields promo and her

upcoming nuptuals.  She was on tour of The U.S. and

somehow she found her way to a suburban town with a

bunch of hicks and a few goofy looking policemen and

nobody was paying any attention to her.  Now, as she

is waiving to those that were present, Brucie is

checking her out.  She's not too bad and she has that

look about her like she could handle herself over at

Mike's Pub.  By the time she gets to the door I'm

reading old Beatrix like today's Tribune and this is

what she was saying.  "What the hell am I doing here?

I'm one of the richest women in the world.  My country

owns all of these Caribean islands, which we stole so

many years ago.  I should be on a beach somewhere in

The Dutch East Indies drinking Mai Tais with a

millionaire jocker.  But no!  I'm stuck in the middle

of a snow storm in some town called 'Smokie' with

these yokels gawking at me.  I wish I could crawl back

into the car and light-up a doobie.  And look at that

big overgrown horny baby huey cop eyeballing me like I

was a Dunkin Donut"......and then as if it were magic

our eyes met, only for a moment, but long enough for

each of us to know what the other was thinking.  For a

split second we both stood naked and exposed to each

other and then she turned and disappeared through the

doors and out of my life.  Soon I was on my way to DDN

for a small coffee and a chocolate honey dipped.

Princesses are just like cops, they can read peoples

minds.

Almost 35 years later as we were traveling through

Holland we emerged from our hotel into the bright

autumn morning sunshine of Amsterdam to find

barricaded streets and throngs of people. There were

policemen in vans, on motorcycles, riding horses and

at every corner.  It was a school holiday and the

children were present en masse.  Flags waved from

buildings and streetcars and as we walked to the area

called Dam Square crowds got denser and excitement

grew.  It seemed that on that particular day the Queen

of Holland was present in the city for some type of

governmental affair.  Suddenly a huge Bentley pulled

up, police and bodyguards scurried and then there she

was.

A lot of things happened to us during the intervening

time.  She got married and was promoted to Queen.  I

retired and kicked my donut habit, but when our eyes

met it was as though time stood still and once again

we were reading each other's thoughts.  She's

thinking..."that big duffous over there looks

familiar, where have I seen him before, I hope

security checked him out.  I wish I was in Barbados

with some young stud, would I issue some royal

decrees. Could I use a toke."

Anyway as we parted I suddenly felt good about my

life. Here I was traveling, getting to see a little of

the world, relaxed and happy, while she was still

having to keep up appearances and wishing she was

somewhere else.  As we continued on with our

sightseeing I suddenly had the urge for a Bavarian

cream and a buttermilk cake.

Greetings to all, your friend Bud Rappe

  I Knew Michael When He Wasn't A Pervert or

 I Watch Way Too Much TV.

Watching Michael on the news triggered a memory. In the early 70s one midnight shift the entire watch was summoned to The Skokie Hilton. It seemed as though someone leaked info that the Jackson Five were staying there and at 1 AM about 75 screaming fans appeared in the lobby and parking lot clamoring to get a look at the group. In those days there was a theater in Golf Mill that was a popular venue for various concerts and plays. The out of town performers would stay at the Skokie Hilton as this was the only hotel available in the area. When we all arrived the Sargent had us clear the lobby and cordon off the front entry. We waited for about 15 minutes at the front entry and then 2 limos appeared in the parking lot and stopped at the front door. An entourage of about 10 people emerged from the autos, waved at the assembled fans then disappeared into the hotel. All I can remember of Michael was that he was very small among the others and he looked very sleepy as he passed by. I don't remember much about the incident but I would be able to testify, if called to the court in Santa Barbara that on the time and date in question I witnessed no perversions.

 

Walking through the cosmetics department of Fields one afternoon I stopped at the counter of one of my friends who worked there and to my surprise the customer that was standing at the counter happened to be the actress Della Reese. Before Ms. Reese was an actress she was a blues singer and she often made appearances at the Golf Mill Theater, overnighting at the Hilton. She spent her off duty hours shopping at Fields and Saks. The clerk told me that Ms. Reese was a regular, but never bought anything that was'nt on sale and always insisted on a complimentary gift.

 

Jimmy Carter, courting the Jewish vote, appeared at the syn agog located at Dempster and Kolmar to give a speech. There were a great number of State troopers, county deputies, secret service types and Skokie Police both on duty and hire back. Law enforcement outnumbered guests( who paid to get in) about 2 to 1. On completion of his speech Mr. Carter emerged from the auditorium into the foyer where I had been posted. There were numerous dignitaries and politicos crowded around him seeking a word and a handshake. As he finished up he thanked everyone and then looked toward me at my post. He made his way over to me and shook hands with me and told me "tell your chief thank you very much you all did a good job." Apparently he could tell by my uniform that I was a local and not one of the numerous personnel that had been assigned to escort him. I always regarded that as a sincere and gentlemanly thing that he did, which I will always remember. Mr. Carter was rather slight and bony in stature but I recall that his hand was "muscle bound" and skin was rather calloused. The poor man probably shook over a million hands in his career!

 

Speaking of synagogues, the people of Skokie and all the congregations in Niles township by various collections and fund raisers contributed 2 ambulances to the people of Israel sometime back in the late 60s. The ambulances were stored at the village garage for safe keeping until they could be shipped. Painted on the sides of the vehicles were words to the effect of "A gift to the People of Israel from the people of Niles Township." Recently while watching a documentary on the Israeli conflicts I saw some vintage footage of a bombing victim being placed into one of our ambulances.

 

I know that a lot has been written on and many of you have your individual memories about the Nazi march on Skokie, after reading last month's news letter, this is my personal recollection of what happened. Thousands of citizens surrounded village hall on that day. I believe we were put onto a Meirhofer bus and transported to the scene and interspersed around the building. About 15 minutes before H. hour someone in government decided to stop the march. About 8 or 10 names were read off and we along with a supervisor (I think it was LeRoy) were put into 2 squad cars and told not under any circumstances to let the group set foot into Skokie. We all raced down to Touhy and Cicero and it was about this time that we realized that most of the names chosen all weighed in excess of 250 lbs. and were all over 6 ft. tall. At the time we had compact sized Plymouth Satellite cars. I think the most amazing thing that happened that day was getting all of us fully equipped in riot gear into those cars! At any rate an intelligence unit who was following the group told us to stop them at Cicero south of Touhy. I think the group consisted of 2 carloads of about 7 teenage kids wearing disheveled brown uniforms with Nazi armbands. The Sargent spoke with them gave them some sort of writ, they piled back into their cars and returned to Chicago. Contrary to being disappointed the youngsters looked relieved. Everyone involved realized they would have gotten their asses kicked or possibly killed. I am sure and I believe intelligence at the time indicated that JDL people were there and that they may have been armed. When we got back to the hall we found that it was the gathered citizenry that was disappointed. Most present were raring to kick some butt. Recently I saw a TV documentary on The American Nazis and a small segment of footage depicted some of you on the steps in full riot gear. If you were on the department back then you would have been there and you probably have some different memories.

 

When Phil Donahue began his daily TV talk show which originated in Chicago he took up residency in Winnetka. Subsequently he married "that girl" Marlo Thomas. I first met Ms. Thomas when one of her step daughters required youth services of some sort due to an incident that happened in Old Orchard. She seemed to me to be a regular person that had a genuine concern for her child. A few years later I walked into the Skokie Valley ER for a break where I again saw Ms. Thomas as well as Mr. Donahue and several other people in the waiting room. The party seemed distraught. Ms. Thomas recognized me and approached. She told me that Mr. Donahue's teen age son had been involved in a roll over accident and was in grave condition. Shortly thereafter Mr. Donahue approached me and said that "when the news and TV find out about this they will be crawling all over the place." We arranged for the family to be put into a private waiting room and kept a watch at the entrance for the remainder of the night. No one leaked any information to the press and reporters never appeared. The young man recovered but only after some surgeries. Years later during a TV interview Mr. and Mrs. Donahue related that that incident had been one of the defining moments in their lives. At the time I recalled that they were just regular people who would have done or given anything to get their kid out of trouble.

 

On another occasion I walked into the ER to find her honor mayor Jane Byrne sitting on a gurney with a big bandage wrapped around her hand. It appeared that Ms. Byrne apparently slammed a car door on her finger. Thinking that this would not look good on her political resume she made arrangements with a family friend (an off duty Skokie Police Officer) to take her to a discrete emergency room for treatment. When I told friends of this incident they said "nah". But sure enough Ms. Byrne who happened to be in the habit of speaking demonstratively with her hands appeared on TV with a bandage on her finger. Again not too long ago while watching a retrospective of Chicago politics on TV there was Ms. Byrne giving a speech for posterity with a big black hematoma under one of her fingernails.

 

Finally, one night around shift change in the mid 80's, sitting in the Niles Twp. lot I see a suspicious auto cross the intersection of Lincoln and Gross PT a couple of times. On the third time I stopped the luxury auto at Lincoln and Laramie. I called for a 28 then got out to talk to the driver. He showed me a valid DL and registration and told me he had gotten off Edens to get gas but couldn't find an open station. I gave him directions and let him go. When I got back into the car, radio gave me the registration check. Within 10 seconds there were at least 5 squads there. "Did you know who that was?" I'm thinking I must have had some major felon that I just let go. Apparently I stopped some famous Chicago Bear Player. Not being an avid Football fan I did not realize who he was and to this day I could not recall his name but it must have been a big deal to draw so much attention. To add insult to injury I stopped the man right in front of the Indianapolis Colt's office building. Thank you for your attention. I hope that you have enjoyed these stories and that they may have spurred some memories within yourselves, so that you too may share some of your experiences with us. We are fortunate to have a forum such as this to relate our experiences and to record some of these incidents for history's sake. I know a lot of you are sitting on some pretty good stories. Give them up.

 

Best wishes and happy new year to all. Your friend Bud Rappe

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"The Anatomy (female) Of An Auto Accident
 Or Why I Watch The Evening News."
Think back to working midnights. There was that time of the shift when the people ending their day and those who were about to start the new day were all home in bed. Nobody on the street but you and four or five other knuckleheads just like you who were on duty. If you did see something move you knew it was either some bad guy or some raving lunatic. It was just such a morning when I pulled out of one of the factory lots onto Touhy Ave. Right before my eyes was a huge ball of flame. Pulling up to the scene I find an auto resting in the bushes of one of the factories that lined the south side of the street. Instantly, I thought a stolen car had been dumped and the thief had set it on fire to cover his tracks. Then I hear this blood curdling scream emanating from the adjacent bushes and there I behold my first, last and only naked lady call. Karen was a beautiful 21 year old. She was the kind of girl men wanted around them, and other women hated. You knew by looking at her that she had always gotten everything she ever wanted, she was queen of the prom, she always had a date on Saturday night and nobody ever said no to her. She was about to graduate college and enter the world of journalism. You also knew she would probably make good because she had poise, personality and talent in the form of a set of perfect knockers courtesy of Dow Chemical. She was engaged to be married and when she stood next to her fiance they appeared to be Ken and Barbie for all intents and purposes. Yes, she had it all, she even had a dirty little secret. Karen was a very naughty girl. So what's this girl doing in the middle of the street, naked next to a wrecked car? Karen was in a state of shock, screaming at the top of her lungs "oh my God, what have I done? Oh my God!" At this point I assumed that there was another person in the car and I immediately ran toward the conflagration intending to be a hero. Forget it, no way was I going to save anything other than my big ass. Retreating back to the squad, I realized that my sole purpose this day was to render aid and comfort to this poor helpless naked lady. I put her in the back seat. All I had to offer her to protect her modesty was a dirty car wash towel and my field reporting manual. It was at this point that I discovered that she had been burned. Her entire backside from her buttocks to her ankles was red and blistered. All we could do was watch the car burn and wait for SFD. Next about 7 or 8 firemen were arguing and drawing straws to see who would get to rub salve on this poor girls burnt parts. At the scene we all thought she had had her clothing burned off of her. It was only after the real police from Lincolnwood arrived and found that her clothes were in a pile on the floorboards of her car, wrapped around the brake pedal, that we realized something was amiss. Sgt. Fisher was a real gentleman and an astute supervisor. He recognized the significance of how a naked lady call affects the career of a young patrolman. "Brucie, he says I want you to handle this call, and I know you'll do a good job." When I got to the hospital about a half hour later, I could overhear the nurses talking to Karen in the cubicle. They were commenting on her boobs, what a good job that Dr. so and so did and how much did they cost, which hospital did she go to etc. etc. When I finally got in to see her it was like I was her savior. She wept and hugged me and she kept on saying what a sick person she was. When I asked her what happened the whole story just poured out. Karen, it seems since the time that she got her learner's permit would from time to time sneak out of the house, borrow daddy's car and cruise the streets of Chicago looking for a thrill. Over the years one thing led to another and it appeared that the only way she was able to obtain a modicum of excitement was to drive around town at high rates of speed in the nude. On this particular morning while studying for finals she became bored and decided to go for a little jaunt. Somewhere around Clark and Devon she caught the attention of a couple of men in a truck at which point the fun began. As she led the men up and down the various streets, she reached a very high state of tension and somewhere in the 3500 block of Touhy things got out of hand, so to speak. Traveling west bound at a high rate of speed with an 18 wheeler in hot pursuit, at the exact same time she lost control of the muscles in her lower pelvic regions she also lost control of her fiance's late model Olds. When she came to her senses she found herself on top of some junipers that lined the foundation of one of the factories on the south side of Touhy. Realizing her predicament she tried to back out of the bushes but unbeknown st to her the wheels of the car were up in the air. She raced the engine for several minutes until the transmission started to overheat. When smoke filled the interior of the car she opened the door and the oxygen rushing into the car created a back draft effect causing the interior of the car to burst in flames. Apparently when she attempted to flee the car she was unable to as her blue jean shorts which at this point were around her ankles had entangled with the brake pedal. She fell from the car head first exposing her buttocks, private parts and legs to the licking flames. She told me that she didn't remember how she escaped but she would never forget the searing pain of the burns. She said she needed help and that she could not keep going on like this because her escapades were getting more and more bizarre. As we waited for her fiance and the Lincolnwood police to arrive she told me her life story. She aspired to be a TV anchorwoman. Her father had spent tens of thousands of dollars on orthodontists, speech coaches and even breast implants. She had several leads on radio and TV reporting jobs and she already had an agent lined up to flood the industry with her name and photos. When the Lincolnwood officer arrived we compared notes and just about everything she had told me had been borne out by his investigation. When we went back into the cubicle he asked her if she had been hurt at which time she removed the white sheet that covered her displaying her burnt backside plus a few other goodies that were not quite as burnt. By this time the Ken portion of her life arrived and protectively took charge. When the officer gave her a ticket Ken protested loudly "on what grounds?" The officer could have created a real scene had he gone into details but being a gentleman he told Ken she was driving negligently by having her pedals blocked. After taking a bond card Lincolnwood left and a short time later Karen was checked out of the hospital. In the waiting room after her release Ken and Barbie had a terrible fight, Ken accusing Barbie of being a whore and all whatnot. The nurses told them to take it outside where you could hear them carrying on in their car for several minutes. When things calmed down I went back inside to finish my report and recap events with the nurses. When I returned to the parking lot 15 minutes later the windows of their car were all steamed up and they were in the process of some type of lovemaking. All I could tell you is that Karen was quite a woman. In the span of about two hours she wrecked a car, almost burned down a factory, nearly killed herself, received some painful burns, racked up some serious hospital bills, was charged with a misdemeanor, lost a good portion of her wardrobe and was now doing the Chevy shuffle out in the parking lot of the hospital, all before sun-up. You could just imagine what the rest of her day would be like. When she appeared in court the Lincolnwood officer related that she pled guilty, lest the true story come to light. He also told me that she sent her regards to me and wanted me to know that "I would always be her hero." For quite a number of years whenever I travel to a strange city I find myself tuning into the ten o'clock news. I'd like to think that its my natural interest in current events but maybe its something more psychological. Once, I think it was in Columbus, Ohio there was a newswoman by the name of Karen. I thought it could've been her but I wasn't sure, she had her clothes on. Greetings to all and best holiday wishes, your friend Bud Rappe


      

 AND I SUPPOSE YOUR NAME IS MIKE TOO, HUH?
 This one is impossible to eliminate personal references from... One starry midnight shift, three Officers were assigned to a report of Domestic Battery at a house in the area of Golf and Central Park. When the Officers arrived, they were met at the door by a distinguished gentleman (a professor at Northwestern, I believe) and his besotted wife. She promptly launched into a drunken tirade about her no-good louse of a husband, whom she claimed had pushed her down the stairs. She insisted that he be arrested immediately. She bore no visible injuries from this supposed tumble. The husband explained that she had been drinking all night (NO S*&T...) and had become irate when he dumped all her remaining booze. The Officers concluded there was no merit to the complaint, and told the wife they would not arrest the husband. She turned her anger at them, with pointed comments about their parentage and sexual preferences (build a thousand bridges...). She concluded her comments with the typical " I'm gonna call the Chief" and pointed a trembling finger at the first Officer. "What's your name?" , she asked. "Mike", said he. "And what's your name?" , she demanded of the second Officer, her anger mounting. "Mike" was the reply. "And I suppose your name is Mike too, huh?", she spat at the last Officer. "Well ma'am, as a matter of fact it is" answered the third. At this point she lost it, launching every imaginable invective in the direction of the Officers. Having exhausted herself and her considerable store of profanity, she stomped off to her bedroom and slammed the door. The Officers said a polite goodbye to the long-suffering husband and returned to their cars. "What a piece of work" said (then) Officer Mike Ruth. "I'll say" replied (then) Officer Mike Krupnik. "I just hope she calls the Sergeant tonight instead of waiting to call the Chief tomorrow" observed (then) Officer Mike Healy. The Sergeant that night? Mike Maher.

Mike Healy

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 People Asked About Him
When I was at the last picnic a few people asked me
about 'him'. Recently in the last newsletter someone
wanted to know if anyone knew of his whereabouts.
After some soul searching I decided to dredge up some
of those memories.  Its hard to put things in
perspective after 40 years but as my memory fades,
somewhat, I will try only because you have the right
to know. You are part of this story whether you want
to be or not.  As with any historical event its not
important who tells the story, only that it gets told.
  So I will ask this site keeper to withold my name out
of respect for "him" and his family.  Railroad men
have tales about rounding the Shelbyville curve doing
60.  Machinists talk about the first time they used
the Munson 680.  This is our story. This is who we
were.  This is what we did.
Everybody knew we were buds, we rode motorcycles
together, went fishing on our days off, lived
relatively close to each other. Our families hung out
together.  I guess it was natural for them to think I
knew what he was up to nowadays.  I only know some of
the details that led up to his moving-on.  I don't
know much about after he left.  Last I saw he was
remarried, had a good job he was happy with and the
kids were doing ok.  It aint a pretty story, but its
part of our history.  If you are not into history,
then don't read this, skip to the joke book section of
this site.  No happy endings here, but he was one of
us and his story deserves to be told.  A great cop, a
hard worker, each day he could make anyone of us laugh
no matter how low we were.  Always had a joke or
anecdote to fit any situation.  He was the only guy
Ernie would allow to get away with telling a joke
during rollcall.  The worst thing I ever heard him say
about someone was that he was a 'giblet'.  We, who are
happily retired, generally received the blessings of
the community we served and have been enriched by that
service. Our families are proud of us.  We all had
nice retirement parties and we go to the picnics every
so often.  A few of us, however, never reached that
goal.  Some careers ended with a shootout at Muskets
or the swift lot.  Others ended with a squad crash at
Main and Skokie or Oakton and Niles There were many
and assorted endings none of which could be
anticipated.  His career ended in Emily Park, in the
floodlit darkness that will never be erased from the
memories of those of us who were there.  He was one of
us and I hope my recollections do him and his loved
ones justice.  If I make a mistake with the names of
persons involved or what they did please forgive me,
it was forty years ago.  I tell this story because our
memories are fading.  The official reports were long
ago relegated to a cardboard box in the police station
basement. Expungements ensued and records were
destroyed.  When our memories desert us there will be
nothing left of our way of life.  Its important for us
to remember everyone who served here, because in their
own way they contributed to our legacies.

He came up in the 50's in a small town called Mattawa.
  A few farms and a church sitting on an old Indian
trail along the east bank of the DesPlaines.
The great American statesman Adlai E. Stevenson was
from Mattawa (by way of Lake Shore Drive) but he told
the world he was "The Man From Libertyville."  50's
presidential campaign spin.  His opponent General
Eisenhower hailed from Gettysburg a place that evokes
memories of patriotism and valor.  So suddenly Adlai
was the native son of Libertyville, the cradle of our
American way of life, notwithstanding he actually
lived 5 miles down the road in tiny Mattawa.
His mom and dad were caretakers of what was called a
gentleman's farm.  They grew the crops, tended the
livestock, kept the grounds in order, and maintained
the machinery, leaving the hard work for the
gentleman.  His dad took him fishing and his mom
canned fruit, put up vegetables, and at Christmas time
they baked pies and traded fruit preserves with Adlai
who was their next door neighbor.
Shortly after high school graduation he married his
high school sweetheart.  They took up housekeeping in
Mundelein where he got a factory job.  When there was
an opening he joined SPD where he immediately became a
popular officer.  The family which had grown to a
pre-school girl and a toddling boy moved into one of
the apartments behind Niles East where they began a
new life and career.  Them days Skokie was like a
little town neighbors knew each other, folks were
friendly and kids played about the streets and parks
largely unsupervised; therein lies the tale.

It was a warm afternoon mom was sitting on the front
steps watching the neighborhood kids playing.  Her
daughter was playing hopscotch and the little boy was
digging in the dirt.  As the afternoon latened, mom
went inside, just for a moment to check on dinner.
When she returned the boy was gone.  The other
children were sent in all directions to find the
youngster, but in a while they returned without
success.  A call was made to SPD and the beat officer
was sent to investigate.  He rode around the area and
when he saw no sign of the boy he called for backup.
Sgt. Davis was the watch commander.  He called for all
available to respond to the scene and assigned
officers to search basements, apartments and garages
on the block.  I can still remember the damp, rancid
odors of those basements.  No one would believe how
many abandonned refrigerators and stoves were in the
basements and garages of those buildings.  We looked
in washers and driers.  We asked people to let us look
inside their apartments, under beds and in closets.
After an hour or so we spread out into the district.
Can you imagine what it was like to search the areas
along the railroad tracks, praying that you won't find
what your looking for lying along side of those
tracks?  We all searched in earnest, each of us hoping
that we could be the one to return the boy to his mom,
who sat weeping on her front steps.  As darkness
became our enemy, Jumbo turned his focus to Emily Park
and its scum and weed infested lagoon.  SFD divers
were called in and the Civil Defense set up portable
floodlights.  As the sun set the lights were turned on
and then the worst was discovered.  You see, in the
daylight with the pond covered in scum it was
impossible to see below the water.  But, under the
bright lights you could clearly see the outline of the
youngster just inches below the surface.  Can you
imagine how badly some of us felt?  We had passed that
spot several times during the afternoon, but we just
couldn't see him.  We all gathered together and tried
to console one-another.  How could this toddler have
wandered off and then fallen into this lagoon?  What a
terrible misfortune.  It wasn't long thereafter that
Jumbo gathered us together and announced that homicide
had been commited.  We were stunned and shaken almost
to the point where some of us found it difficult to do
the jobs, that so desparately needed to be done.
After more searches for evidence and witnesses were
made we were ordered to the station for recall at
about 1 AM.  Many of us sat in stunned silence trying
to make sense of what transpired.  We were supposed to
be seasoned and tough, yet our sense of loss was
overwelming.  After a couple of hours we drifted home,
we now had to face our wives and families and explain
to them what had happened, most times that was the
hardest part of the job.
The next day, I believe it was a Saterday, we all kind
of drifted back to the station.  We all felt compelled
to assist in any way we could.  Soon Lt. Halas, who
was in charge of the dicks and the investigation, put
us in pairs and sent us into the district.  We used
our own cars because there weren't enough squads.
There were no portable radios back then so we were
told to call in on a box every hour. " Stop whoever
you see.  Make out field slips on them.  Go to
peoples' doors, ask questions, don't take "I don't
know for an answer."  I was teamed up with Len
Jaglarski and we were assigned to the area around
Oakton Bowl.  We parked his car in the lot then walked
up Louise street ringing doorbells in the numerous
townhouses that lined both sides.  In about an hour we
made our way back to the lot.  Len was tired of
ringing doorbells.  He didn't think that would be the
answer to catching this child killer.  He felt there
was going to be some type of task force.  He began his
politiking to get on this task force by picking up the
call box in the parking lot and getting  hold of
somebody in the station who could make it happen.  Now
comes the unbelievable part of this tale.
As we are standing by the call box Len talking to
headquarters a group of preteen boys approached us.
They were excited to hear any details of the crime and
speculated as to whom may have been the perpitraitor.
Then as though God had willed us to be at that
locality at that time.  As if God willed these
youngsters to be there the same time as we were.  As
if God willed one of the lads to blurt out the
following story, everything came together for SPD.
Luck, karma proven police proceedure, whatever you
wish to call it, we met the devil himself in the
person of little Erik.  He was blond and blue eyed,
but he had the kind of eyes like those kids in the
horror movies.  When you looked him in the eye you
could see all the way to Hades.  As the other lads
clammored about us for attention Erik spoke up with a
clear voice that stopped Len and I in our tracks.  "I
know who did it," he proudly proclaimed.  Erik told us
it was an older boy he knew by name and that he saw
this boy lead the toddler across the tracks toward the
park on the preceeding afternoon.  We immediately
called into the bureau.  We were instructed to take
the boy home and stand-by for the dicks.
Mort podolski and Kenton Cody were partners and
journeyman youth officers.  They ran the 'bad cop,
ugly cop' routine on kids and it worked real well for
them because they used to clear a lot of cases.  I'm
not saying who was who, they know who they are.  They
sized-up little Erik straight away. They along with a
lot of other dicks, worked their magic and by bedtime
that same night they had little Erik booked into the
Audey Home for the murder of the toddler.
Little Erik was in fact a sociopath, a cold blooded
killer.  We learned that the crime had been committed
because Erik had in some way been accosted by an older
boy.  Erik conceived, planned and carried out the
crime in order to seek revenge on the older boy.
After a few weeks Erik's parents didn't like the idea
of him being a murderer so they got a lawyer.  It was
not long thereafter that Len and I along with the
Dicks were summoned to juvenile court.  The judge
demanded that we show a chain of evidence from Emily
Park back to Erik's apartment.  So early one morning
we piled into a squad and were escorted to the
courthouse by non other than the field captain.  In
his words, "I don't want youse guys stopping off for
White Castles or Italian ices, or getting lost or in
an accident.  Your all going to court and you better
testify good and put this little bastard away for
life."  I guess what Len and I had to say was
important.  It had to do with us observing and noting
a child's pair of muddy shoes by the back door of
Erik's apartment.  Anyway the trial was pretty much a
sham.  It was all poor Erik this and child of a broken
home that.  It turned out that according to the judge
and Erik's lawyer, Erik was adopted.  His mother and
adoptive father had gotten a recent divorce.  His
mother and new father were expecting a new baby.  So
this heinous crime had been committed because little
Erik had trouble grasping this.  The main thing I
recall about the trial was that the bailiff had
everything he could do to keep the judge from jumping
down off the bench and kissing little Erik's ass.  So
Erik was sent off to some counsuling.  After a few
months the family packed up and moved to parts
unknown.  This was supposed to bring some closure to
the victims.  Little by little life returned to normal
around the squadroom but I know for a fact that the
family had been devistated.
Today, a cop gets a little to much grande in his
Starbucks latte and they call out Crises Intervention.
  "And how did that make you feel?"  In the 60s we only
had a couple of ways to work things out.  You went
over to the pub.  A few people may have made some
contact with their local groupies.  Some may have
taken it out on their spouses.  Most of us just rode
around in the squad stewing over things until we
popped a citizen, or shot at his dog, or mouthed off
to the sargeant.  A couple of days off were a good
cure for any crises.  The grand masters of all of
weaseldom were at work here.  The politician met with
the lawyer and the insurance man and they decided that
sending a police officer or firefighter for help could
be detrimental to the Village.  Lets say an officer
pops someone and it comes out in the lawsuit that the
cop received intervention the Village could be liable
for a lot of money.
Our friend came back to work and he still continued to
be a good guy.  He did a good job, he met all goals
set for him.  He scored high on the sargeant's exam,
he could have made rank.
Can you imagine  as a father, a husband and a cop the
most horrific thing that could happen occurs to you?
You still have to come to work every day and you have
to listen to some citizen beefing about someone in his
parking space.  The sargeant yaking at you because
your sideburns are below your ears.  What about his
wife?  She has to choose between Captain crunch or
Cocoa Puffs and balance the checkbook, when all she
wants to do is lie her head on the nearest railroad
track.
First they moved out of Skokie 8 miles up the road.
Then they moved 30 miles up the road.  That didn't
seem to be far enough away.  The decision was made,
resign the job and move 1300 miles away.  After that
they ran into ocean, they couldn't get any further
away so eventually they split and went their separate
ways.
If you were on the job back then, believe me, this
incident had a profound effect on all of us.  Mostly
in our lives there were victims, bad guys, and us.  We
were able to compartmentize and in so doing we dealt
with what we had to do.  But now we too were victims.
This senseless act could have happened to anyone of
our little Johnies or Jennies-and there for the grace
of God go I.  We all suffered and from that day on we
all whistled past the graveyard.
Our story, unfortunately, has been told.  I regret
having to be the one to tell it.  Too bad for me I was
a little too close to it.
As for little Erik.  It was just dumb luck that we ran
into him that day at the bowl.  It could have been any
one of you.  We were part of Erik's plan and we just
happened to be there.  If we had gone west bound
instead of east  Erik would have caught up to one of
you.  So you too earned your keep on that day.  I'm
proud of the way we all did our jobs.
I've been retired almost 19 years.  Sometimes, I watch
the news and the story is about a Ted Bundy guy, a BTK
guy or a child molester.  They show the guy's picture
and immediately I go back to work trying to put 40
years onto a 12 year old's face.  Am I looking into
Erik's eyes?  Is he still out there?  Did he ever
finish his theropy?  You think about it for a while.
Finally, its pretty easy to find lost friends these
days, with all the technology we have.  Its a lot
harder to leave them alone and in peace.
And to my old friend if you should by chance read
this, you and yours are in our thoughts and prayers.
I hope that after all these years you found your
place, far enough away-but not too far.
To everyone else have a good retirement, you've earned it.
(Name witheld by request)

Thank you to Lee and Ron for sending the following...

OUR HERO POLICE OFFICERS RISK THEIR LIVES EVERY DAY TO PROTECT AND SERVE US. AND THEY ARE SUBJECTED TO STRESSES, PRESSURES, AND DANGERS THAT FEW OF US COULD EVEN IMAGINE.

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THEY ARE FATHERS, BROTHERS, SON'S, UNCLES.....

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THEY ARE MOTHERS, SISTERS, DAUGHTER'S, AUNT'S.....

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YOU GO TO WORK IN A SUIT AND TIE AND CARRY A BRIEF CASE.....
THEY GO TO WORK WITH A BULLET PROOF VEST , PEPPER SPRAY, AND GLOCKS STRAPPED TO THEIR WAIST.....

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YOU WORK AT A DESK WITH A NICE COMFORTABLE CHAIR WITH A CORNER WINDOW ON THE 5TH FLOOR....THEIR OFFICE HAS 4 WHEELS,   4 DOORS, LIGHTS AND SIRENS. ...

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POLICE OFFICERS ARE HUMAN JUST LIKE THE REST OF US...THEY HAVE FAMILIES THEY COME HOME TO  A WIFE AND CHILDREN WAITING FOR THEM AT THE DOOR....

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WHEN THE WEATHER IS AWFUL AND YOU STAY IN SIDE DRINKING COFFEE OR HOT COCCO....
THEY ARE OUT THERE PROTECTING OTHERS LIVES AND HELPING WHOMEVER IS IN NEED...PUTTING THEIR OWN SAFETY AT RISK.....
 
IN THE RAIN.....

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OR THE SNOW....

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EVEN HURRICANES...THEY ARE THERE...

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THEY ARE THERE TO COMFORT YOU WHEN TRAGEDY STRIKES.....

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THEY ARE THERE TO COMFORT A LITTLE GIRL WHO'S MOTHER WAS JUST ARRESTED FOR SELLING HERSELF ON A STREET CORNER, JUST SO SHE CAN PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE....

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THEY ARE THE ONES WHO MAKE SURE YOU'RE SAFE ON YOUR WAY TO YOUR VACATION IN CANCUN ....

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YET SOME OFFICERS MAKE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE....THEY RISK IT ALL TO SAVE ANOTHER....OR A FELLOW BROTHER....

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'OFFICER DOWN, OFFICER NEEDS HELP' ARE WORDS THAT CAN CHANGE LIVES FOREVER.   WORDS THAT REMAIN EVER PRESENT AND IRREMOVABLE IN THE MINDS AND HEARTS OF THE POLICE FAMILY.

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WE WILL FOREVER BE THANKFUL FOR ALL THEY HAVE DONE....

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